Today I realized my bestie is all thorns still.
our fields cross, but she steps away or decides not to look
The things that bring me joy, bring her disdain.
Today I didn’t remove her as a friend but it tore my heart once more the contempt i felt, that i was wasting her time.
She will mature. I keep telling myself this because I was her. Because I am her because my heart was small and uncomfortable
If I abandon her friendship i will never see it bloom and see her reach her potential.
If i abandon our built up time together, i abandon myself
If I am the abandoned for someone LIKE a younger less mature me, maybe there is another more mature me that will abandon someone like my younger me
Like ME - So I cannot possibly do it. Time heals
She will get there i have faith.
I know i have made people feel the way she makes me feel.
I stay because the her that is her now, creating wounds, is only a few steps in the dance of Shiva.
It is only a note in music that does not please mine ear
But the next notes can be more delicious once the one producing the music understand that co creation and unity are so much sweeter than any time spent in idle past times.
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